I had this conversation recently, and really, I guess, it was more of an argument, and it was about trump.
My antagonist stated that “they’re not gonna get the virus because they’re christians.” I hesitated, thought about it for a moment, and then said: “I don’t think that’s what you’re really saying. I think that what you’re saying, I mean really saying, is that you and your friends won’t get sick from this virus because you’re white, conservative, evangelical, christians.” They hesitated, almost as if they wanted to argue that my statement was untrue, but then just kind of shrugged, as if to say: “Yeah, well, okay.” As you can imagine, my brain was whispering “Oh My God!” to my soul over and over again. Needless to say, I was pretty appalled by such an admission.
No matter, I knew I had to continue, so I gathered myself and said: “I don’t think I understand. Are you saying that Putin created a virus that attacks an organism based upon its political beliefs?” Of course, they immediately stated back rather angrily: “Its a Chinese virus!”
I said: “Well, I think that’s open to debate, but we’ll get back to that in a minute. Right now, I want to explore this physio-political virus you imagine. What I believe you’ve stated is that there is a virus that will demonstrate its worst symptoms, including death, primarily in people whose politics are left-leaning, or who hold progressive political philosophies.”
“I don’t know about that. That would mean that there is a physiological, and I mean anatomical dimension associated with any set of political views or thoughts, and that somebody has found the means to isolate those physical traits associated with very specific thought patterns, and then develop a virus that can reliably carry its ‘attack’ data through thousands of generations of reproduction through mitosis, because each virus cell has a rather short life-span. They then engineered the cells to attack only a specific group of human beings with certain political beliefs. I don’t think the science exists to do that. I don’t think it can be done.”
They replied, quite quickly, and surprisingly matter-of-factly: “God could do it.”
Right then and there, almost before they finished the statement, I knew I was done, beaten. The strange logic of superstition will always, to use the most grotesque terms possible, ‘trump’ knowledge. You cannot argue with superstition, because superstition is based upon, and exists within, a non-argumentative reality. There is no doubting of the superstation, it is just accepted.
We all know that it’s impossible for a large, furry, bloodthirsty creature with an insatiable appetite for human flesh to live in the cellar of a single-family house in suburban America, yet the superstition persists, doesn’t it? “I don’t know what could have happened to Johnny, he was playing right there in front of the cellar door…well, yeah, it was open this time, when it’s usually closed…” You can’t argue with that. Johnny’s toys are still there, but he’s gone without a trace, and we all know “The Thing In the Cellar” got him.
Anyway, it took me about a second and a half to regain myself after their expert parry of my conclusion, and in the next seven seconds after that, I fought one of the greatest battles of all time within my consciousness. Half of me wanted to lean forward, with a furrowing of my brow, and a look that never tried to hide my utter disdain for what I had just heard, and say: “What the fuck did you just say?” The other half was telling me: “No, let’s hold onto that card for a while. I mean, why yell “Bingo!” now, when you can yell “Blackout!” later?”
I had to respond to that statement eventually, so after about twenty seconds of pensive reflection, I leaned forward, gave a small tilt of my head that was meant to convey a sort of perplexed surrender, took a sip of my coffee, and said: “Well, I agree, I guess. I mean, God could construct such a virus and unleash it into the world to kill people like me. That’s okay, I can deal with the statistical possibility that God could do that. If we accept that proposition, then the question really is; would he?”
“I mean, I don’t think God does things for his own amusement, I believe he does things to try to get us to learn lessons about love and compassion, and about caring for each other, and the poor, and things like that. I really hope you agree with me when I say that God would have no interest in wiping out all those damned libs, as some people call them. Unless, of course, God is now in Heaven doing your bidding. I mean, shit, that would be the bomb of all bombs, wouldn’t it? All that prayer really paid off, huh?”
They didn’t respond. I think they were really angry.
I decided then that I was going to go on an all out offensive to either make them leave, make them cry, or, preferably, make them leave crying. So I waited a few seconds, then continued:
“So, let’s check out this virus thing. I mean, I know God could do it, but we need to also look at other possibilities, if it was, as you seem to suggest, manufactured. So if it’s not made by God, who would have an interest in making it, and throwing it out into the world to wreak absolute havoc with civilization.”
“Check this out. I’m gonna give you some numbers here, but not a lot. They’re really important numbers, so I need you to pay attention. The last reliable, pre-virus, number for the US annual GDP is approximately 22 trillion dollars (US). The approximate annual GDP of the EU countries is 19.5 trillion dollars (US). The approximate annual GDP of the People’s Republic of China is 13.5 trillion dollars (US). The approximate annual GDP of the Russian Federation is 1.3 trillion dollars (US).”
“Numbers are great, I love them…in moderation. Numbers are just numbers, nothing more, but like everybody else, they have a story to tell, and these numbers tell this story: The US and the EU have large, well developed, consumer segments of their economies. The Chinese are primarily a manufacture/export economy. They have a growing consumer class, but they’re still ‘manufacture/export.’ The Russians…well, the Russian people are ratting each other out to Putin’s security services in order to get their hands on a wood burning stove.”
“What it also says is that China has absolutely no interest in the chaos caused by this virus. The Chinese Government depends on healthy consumer segments of the western economies in order to keep their own economy afloat. I mean, where do you think all of those exports go, Russia? Not likely. If the Western consumerist economies go in the tank, China’s economy goes with them.”
“Putin on the other hand, has every interest in the chaos and disruption caused by this novel coronavirus. If the other major economies of the planet go to hell in a hand-basket, that helps Russia’s power position in the world and, as a bonus, Putin’s reputation at home. Now, of course, all of this is only good if Putin can keep the curve pretty flat in Russia, and so far, he appears to have fucked that part up. But that’s another story, which is especially troubling, because Putin doesn’t really care.”
“Also, the Russians and the Chinese share over 2,600 miles of border. Do you think it would be difficult for the Ruskies to sneak that virus over the border and release it in a city like, I don’t know, Wuhan, maybe? Not really.”
“Now get this, and this important, because this is where the entire scenario changes. In May of 2019 the Pentagon published a “white paper” titled, now get this: “Russian Strategic Intentions: A Strategic, Multilayer Assessment.” Pretty to the point, wouldn’t you say? Anyway, one of the key findings of the almost thirty experts from a broad range of fields who contributed to this paper was that Putin, and thereby the Russian State, considers itself to be at war with the United States, and the West in general.”
“Part of the problem for the West is that the US and the Russians have completely differing views of the very nature of warfare. The US seems to think that war is a zero-sum game: you are either at war with somebody, or you are not at war with them, and war encompasses a very distinct set of mutually aggressive actions; namely, the movement of armies. The Russians see warfare completely differently, and really, much more maturely. In their view, if you see another country as a competitor, then every aspect of your relationship, is organized to contribute to your clandestine war effort.”
“If there was any SOB on the planet who would even try to develop and release this virus, thereby sending the planet into chaos by killing off vast numbers of those damned libs, it would be Putin. Either that, or, according to your logic, God is doing this either for personal amusement, or, once again, to kill off vast numbers of those damned libs, including me.”
“Of course, there is another possibility that we haven’t explored. It is that this virus has actually been around for thousands of years, at least, and just existed in the deepest, darkest recesses of this planet. It existed in places we were never meant to go, but we did, and when we did, we came into contact with it, and our bodies, since it’s a “novel” virus to humans, have no defense against it.”
“Now, I know that such a convoluted set of circumstances sounds rather scientific, but that’s because it’s a scientific explanation for the pandemic. Science, and scientific explanations for events and, well, viruses, we all know, are to be held immediately suspect. I think you’ll agree with me that this is due to science’s bias toward evidence and method, and its complete rejection of opinion and conjecture. I mean who who would trust a bunch of scientists, experts and, hell, educated people in general, right? They have an end-game in there somewhere, I guarantee it.”
“Why trust them, when trump knows the truth, when trump is the truth? Anyway, in the end, the point of all this is that Donald Trump is a complete dick.”
And that pissed them off.
Peace and Love to All,
Niemand